An Affair ..

 It started when I was doing High School in my sleepy lil hometown. During that stress full time without any warning,I found myself  into a serious affair ....  an affair  with trees! 

 Like all  people I used to like them but it was around that time that I really opened my eyes to their beauty .
May be, it occured because of those long hours of biology practicals where the swaying leaves of  don't-know-which-tree were visible from the lab window.....or during physics practicals of magnetic fields which were conducted under shady trees where, instead of  gauging  the earth magnetics I very magnetically got drawn towards the play of golden light through the green leaves on the brown earth
.Can't say exactly when the matters became so serious and don't remember about physics lessons but the magnetic attraction was sure there!
So  I started giving importance to trees. I adore d them, were in awe of  them and felt quite comfortable around them.They sort of imparted a feeling of security to me..may be  because of their being rooted  has something to do with it.
 Then I started keeping a sort of logbook where I used to draw a sketch (poorly done ofcourse!) of the trees i liked most and all the relevant info like Imli tree wasTtansen's favourite and harsingar is the one known as PARIJAT found in heaven etc. just all such type of nonsense stuff.
I was inspired to make this logbook after i read 'Shekhar'  a semiautobiographical stuff by  Adhunik Hindi writer Sachiddanand Heeranand Vatsyayan Agyeya.
In the book the protagonist shekhar created a similar book regarding flowering plants....only his recordings were QUITE different from mines  for eg. ..........Zinia flowers ......aaya jinia is found kissing with the cook near these shrubs.....and like that.
As I never witnessed and found any such stuff, my record was quite plain but  a matter of pride for me...... which was gone ..sigh!

Then one fine day the logbook was torn down by  a furious mom when she found out that instead of cramming the botanical names of plants n trees i'm doing art-meet-literature-meet-trivia kind of thing.Had she not done that i swear that book would have become equivalent to google regarding trees.The name was also very appropriate "Tree Trivia" .But the sad part is that mum even don't remember about it. When asked she simply " I've torn so many of ur stupid boks i don't remember properly." Sigh !

I liked all trees as all are unique with some  being graceful and solemn oldies, some  grave, silent monks brooding in nooks and corners, while others simply sway and sway like madly in love.Some are gaunt yet strong like our backyard guava tree which is picture perfect complete with a nest and a small hive! While others are rickety from the stem but bloom like an umbrella from the top like Harsingar - which is  constantly raining scented flowers of saffron and purest white on the earth.
 Trees of different places possess different characters for example-
The harsingar in Modinagar (my paternal home)  is sanguine n suave.The neem there is  grave, two guava trees are simple and docile and the pomegranate trees are vivid ,scintillating and humble .

 The Peepal tree in front of my house is  a noisy ,gushy and the mango trees in the school premises of Asmoli are  haughty and majestic .
In AKP.College  you can find blazing , flaming , resplendent  Gulmohar  trees and the Aamaltas in the streets near CCS University Campus are  debonair and radiant .

The karonda shrub in our backyard is very stubborn and the coconut trees here in Bangalore are no less then Majestic!

Still the coveted crown of being my favourite was bagged (it's a tie) by Gul Mohar and Amaltaas.When in full bloom both the trees are just a marvellous sight to behold.

I have experienced the beauty of Gul Mohar in its all forms. I as a kid used to go with mummy to her school every Saturday (my convent school had Saturday off) In the afternoons when I was tired of being in the library for the major part of the day, I used to lie down under the Gul Mohar and eat the flowers and leaves!  They tasted khatte i.e sour but nice. All this thanks to  mummy's colleagues -my adorable  mausis - full 60 in number, who in one way or other taught me to look at things differently. They also taught me how to apply nail- paint from the finely peeled skin of the Gul - Mohar petal! Now I know it's a common practice but at that time,it was an out of the world experience.

So trees have a dear place in my memories and I am glad .Sitting in a concrete apartment cocooned from nature , while writing these very lines its as if I am transferred under that Gulmohar shade , lying on the brown earth in the heat of May..... and can still feel that  cool of the shade on my body...  The feeling is hard to describe....... just cherished.


. I remembered about  a poem when  some of my neighbours  were discussing about the regiolnalism  getting too much in India. Not only they but we all are concerned about the rise of this idiotic feeling  of thinking one region superior then other and vice- versa.
And they locality where i lives and where i work is compeleltly devoid of any such prejudices .All I say is No cause is good enough to ignite any kind of War.   So No to  Wars of all types,on any bases. this poem I wrote for a class 2 poem competition in the year '99  and the title given by the teacher was-

                                             'Nahin Chahiye Hume Ladai..'

“नक्षत्रों के फूल स मेटे, रैना ने ली सजल विदाई

धरती के निर्मल आचंल पर ऊषा ने रोली छिट्काई

नील फलक पर सूरज चमका , कर किरणों की कलम उठाई

दर्पण से जल पर लिख डाला, नहीं चाहिये हमे लडाई.

सप्त स्वरों में पक्षी चह्के, जाग उठी कलियां अल साई

भंवरें गाने लगे तराने , बल खा कर नदिया इठलाई

‘देश हमारा इक उपवन है, ’ फूलों ने यह सरगम गाई

‘प्रेम – भाव सब हिलमिल मह्के , नहीं चाहियें हमे लडाई’ ”

This post is in hindi and i hope it will look okay on the blog..Actually these are some of my childhood poems - the last one  i wrote when i learnt about the synonyms  of night and moon i.e.rajni- rajneesh and was quite liked the sound of the words .Infact I liked the words so much that I  starteed using these terms only instead of the common Raat and  chand terms.

The other (in start) three are lines written as b'day wishes using the person's name.

जन्म दिवस की शुभ - कामनाओं हेतु..........

तुम शुभ्र घटा बन कर स्वाति
संग लिये दीप्ति विश्वासो की ,
जीवन बगिया सिन्चित करना ,
आशाआओ के मधुमासो की.                  सन॒ १९९५
बनो सर्व प्रिय तुम प्रियंका ,
सुख मेघों पर हो आसीन,
सुर भित हो जीवन कि बगिया
हो उत्कर्ष नवीन- नवीन.                          सन॒ ९६

हो सुखद स्वप्न साकर सभी
रह्ते हो जिन मे सराबोर ,
तुम बढो लक्ष्य पथ पर ऐसे;
रह जाये सब विस्मित - विभोर.                        सन॒ ९६

रज् नी के संग होता है रजनीश ,यह बात सभी को मालुम है
लेकिन इन दोनो मे क्या अन्तर है,क्या अन्तर है
क्या यह बात किसी को मालुम है?
र जनी के आते ही सब निद्रा में खो जाते हैं
र्र्जनीश के आते ही , भट्के हुए राही
पथ पर पहुच जाते हैं..

                                                                       सन॒ १९८८




When I look back, I am surprised to see some verses penned by me on a particular day of March 2003. Don't remember anything special about that time.I must be feeling real creative to do so. 

Now I am not writing much is may be as I am too ! Well,being satisfied is one of the toughest thing on planet earth as u can be happy, even joyful but to be satisfied is to be in a state of calm almost perpetually .
Upto a certain extent, contentment also means inaction. 
Contentment is an elusive state of mind but I am happy to realise that most of my life,as a kid, teenager and later as a young adult (2 stages when  people are most dissatisfied ) I was completely at ease with myself and my surroundings.Not only at ease but quite pleased  with myself and my surroundings :)  Though it seems myopic was perhaps , due to my upbringing ,done by my mother single handedly and very effectively. What ever (if there is) goodness I possess is all because of her and her simple, homely, warm and intellectual ways due to which I had such a sunny, warm,affectionate ,simple and secure  life that I never lacked anything. 
Tons of books, mugs of milk,munching on carrots,radish,guavas and sugarcanes in bright winter afternoons, sipping ice cold emerald mango panna, golden jaljeera, bel ka sharbat and thandai inj summers .... lots of sunshine, cool breeze, monsoon rains, cloudy sky,moonlit nights, chirping of birds on our backyard guava trees, ripe red and pink  fruits on the karonda shrub, different shades of  falling leaves in Autumn......that was what my life was made up of.
These were the things which kept my mind busy and my heart filled with gratitude for every thing that God has created and it helped me immensely in being secure when i moved out from the comforting  home.It gave me a rooted personality and a great sense of self esteeem which only comes when u know that u are immensely loved and cared for and I was  swayed by nothing .
For all the golden and innocent times of my life there is this poem which i wrote back then  keeping in mind that some day I will miss these days.

A tender ,small,forgotten moment
Sent from somewhere to my soul
It smiled,it laughed,enchanting me
And sacred ,delicate past unfolds..

Vivid images came rushing in
pearly thoughts in threads of gold
Long lost feelings stirred again
Old tales fluttered to be retold

As evening dawned in hushing tones
And night sky dazzled bright with stars
Sitting on the winds of wings
My heart sails away way far

When swiftly breaks the crimson dusk
And ushers a fresh new day so warm
Glittering golden scenes of yore
Shine up and smiles with same old charm

Little nothings flood my mind
Unseen fairies from bygone days
Love songs,ballads...gone with the wind
Keep rushing back in new found ways

I knew that memories never fade
And feelings dear! never ever die
A bell is chimed, a line is hummed;
And lo! these soar blue skies..

Memories are such wonderful boons
 lingering  so sweetly in our hearts
Their fragrance never leaves us ever
Love n wisdom these impart

These truly are blessings from above
Sprinkled brightly in our lives
bringing joy and sorrow both
woven  together in life's twine

It Gladdens the heart and soaks the soul
 with love and warmth,affection,care
in dark moments it help us find
An inner strength,a brand new dare

These are truly to be cherished
to be remembered, retold, again relived
So that young  plants may  know how trees
 have taken storms in their stride.

And how their humble branches curved
As God bestowed them with happy spring
To learn and pass this on and on
is a joy which only memories bring.

                                                                  March 2003.


Golden Memories

I am copying here some lines which I wrote while missing my pals, the fun ,the masti,the crying -and- making up......
These memories are devoid of insecurity and jealousy.We faced the world together then and are facing it the same way that is - the way we are ..
So. its for growing together-

Stirring Grass
Rustle of leaves
Shining morn
Which sunbeams weave;
                                                              rushing wind
                                                              blowing hair
                                                              golden leaves
                                                              in autmn air.
humble branches
(with)smiling flowers
twittering birds
and light spring showers
                                                              sunlit ponds
                                                               mirroring blue sky
                                                             radiant days
                                                            all passing by
giving turns
to glittering nights
passed awake
with starry eyes
                                                             precious memories
                                                            which linger in hearrt
                                                             of bubbling teens
                                                            of golden past
Of secrets leaked
and promises made
rosy fantasies
never to fade
                                                        Reminds of fun and
                                                        fights we shared
                                                       The craze,the frenzy
                                                        of small affairs
Enchanting dreams
And sweet temptaions
lil' mistakes
then 'agony aunt sessions'.....
                                                       Unfolds the delicate
                                                        scenes so pure;
                                                        of vibrant ,magical
                                                         days of yore
And tells us though
we are far apart
there's a bit of us
In all of ours' hearts.....
                                                         To friendship 
                                                                   -one of the greatest gifts 


Pihu's Birthday

My Birthday

   I am three years old , 

 and a lot more bold, 

I don't care too much

About things as such.

Gifts, balloons, party;
streamers and confetti...
          All these trifle matters ;
         can't ruffle my feathers

All I care the most
 is about my dress
Oh! yes,yes ,yes!
 It should be the best!

 Okay,Okay.. black dress is fine
the one with sequins in silver twine,

And I have little black boots to match,
with shimmering sparkling silver patch

With flowers and frills and tiny lil' bells
But O dear me ! 
I shouldn't further dwell
Coz' precious is my family and my pals; 
Ma and Papa and Dada and all,

I love them the most
as they are a boon
so I wish my next b'day to be soon
when again I will be with my friends
and hope that the party will 

never end.............                                                            

 my sweet lil daughter . . .....on her third Birthday....  :)


The only Predictable thing about life is that it is so in such an unpredictable life how important it is to have a rocksteady relationship which can provide some stability, some relief from this chaos and  uncertainty of life. Ofcourse it can not erase the unpredictability or the uncertanity of life but it will  definetly make life more easy ,bearable and smooth. Even the rocky patches can be borne with ease.

And how cumbersome life becomes when the relation itself is the cause of all pain.....constructed on the foundation of deceit.



                  The other day my cousin smsed me asking some questions like  -can u cry under water? why is a building called a building when its already build?? why does bank have branches when our money don't grow on trees??  ..."i love u" is not a question then why does it need an answer??

I typed answers to all of them including the last one but she was not satisfied with the last answer.i tried hard to explain but to no use. I wanted to convey that it doesn't needs an answer because it is not a question at all.
its just a beautiful and soft feeling strong enough to enable an ordinary person to do extraordinarily extraordinary deeds .true love brings us close to nature,makes us more sympathetic ,more humane ,more joyful, positive and fills us with such an exuberant and vibrant energy and  incessant short brings the beauty out of the beast....

It gives meaning to a meaningless life and a fresh meaning to an already meaningful one!

True love is like a good education,igniting all the inherent qualities of a person and some times helping him/her in acquiring new climbing high walls, waking up whole nights(which seem so impossible for exam studies) talking on phone,saving pocket money(which was so Unmanageable previously)...etc,etc.

i want her to tell that  its not love that needs answer ;its the feeling of possession of the loved one that needs it.
 i love u is not a question,it's just an open, heart felt sweet romantic declaration, instead the question always is "will u marry me??"OR more romantically put "will you be my Internet password?"
being in love is enough to be happy ,to be Content!

 For her Its a four letter word,easy to spell, simple to remember but so so so hard to decipher.......
Epics have been written and tonnes of pages have been coloured just in grasping the meaning of hw could i possibly explain that in a sms...still i want her 2 know and to feel that if u are the person who is radiating love......u can bask in ur own love also....Even Love Unreturned Has Its Own RAINBOW.... :)


A thought about Brother ki Dulhan ka DULHA !

Ideal Dulhan?
It's strange that with a mountain- out-of-a-molehill media and the always online gen Xand Y youths, who never let go any tit-bit or garbage of an event without cheer-phad, how this song 'matrimonial si aankhen' from Mere brother ki dulhan , passed without ANY comment, argument and counter argument? Strange .

Arre, even the ever combative, contrarian, and  contentious  Shobha De  allowed it to go by swiftly without a single line! 
That it failed to ignite her pen altogether!And thus, the responsibility falls on my fragile shoulders. 

It's a peppy number and I like it  but it's the lyrics which pricked my ears.The lyricist Irshaad Kamil is a  blessed writer (Do check his other songs HERE) who strikes a cord with the soulful and the restless alike and this one is in complete sync with the movie situation.
But just take a look at the standards set by Imraan Khan's character for poor ladies in this solo. Here 

  Beautifully gori  and  chandi si fair girls are always in demand but now you also want them to be SUSHEELA! Come onn ..
 It's a manufacturer's defect. 
If you try infusing both the elements in a single genX piece, it's going to fail the SQP standard quality procedure. Susheela is soo bai like. ugh!

And then in this male-female-e-mail age, you guys are further asking for heaps of degrees to be balanced on pencil heels? 
And For Whom ? give the answer Men .. For Whom The Bells are Going to be Tolled? (forgive my twisting a classic ) .. for an illiterate seth with a paunch covered in Versace's ? Ewww...... not anymore. 
And lets consider for a moment that if it happens then you are actually asking this duniyadaar girl to be like Seeta??? Oh God! You made me put Three question marks and exclamation signs in this post as if I'll be getting points for using these. But kya karun ? I am bewildered ! :/

O Crazy Men....arre, had Seeta behaved in a more samajhdaar and duniyadaar way and asked for  agnipariksha  for both the partners living apart,  then the history of  Indian women would have been different...
Alas, it didn't happen and  now it's up to us, the gen X gals to be the deadly combination of Seeta (read mute patience) and Geeta (read hunterwali).

The search  for a perfect bride for BHAISAHAB  didn't end here. They also want her to be relation samajhne wali read meek,
 a google of love (read able to handle hubby's past, present and future relations with ease and minus drama)
faster then 3G (read so quick that the work is done sans tension, with smiles and a glowing makeup) 
ego less, sweet and heart gladdening like a
 prayer ( means each and every  family wallah is  happy right from the kaam wali bai to chacheri,mameri tai and parjai)
    responsible and fun loving (read round the      clock working ability with small breaks            for er....sweet nothings .. other things)  
like a kingfisher model but  carved out of Indian mitti ( read Jessica Simpson meet Meenakumari)
Dil se ho Dilli, dhadkan se ho London with shokh ada (read whatever u want to , I am fed up :/ )

But you know the icing of the cake ? It's that she should bring Good Luck And Only good luck Always .......Whew. 
That Irked me Alright.

Alisha Chinoi seems so naive and stupid in front of Imraan khan's wish list; Poor girl  asking only a Dil chaiye bas Made in India..

Now will people responsible for this Beautiful song please stand up and take the accolades for the song and brickbats for not composing one for what women want!
Other wise from where do they think they are going to provide a groom able to handle this lethal combination of a girl? It's like that excited student rushing to the professor saying , "Sir, I have invented a chemical which can melt, burn evaporate anything ..anything !!" 
The calm Professor asked with full composure, " Son, where have you kept that chemical in ?'

 If this girl will marry at all then he'll DIE (for sure) of inferiority complex or it must also be one of her abilities to not let the poor hubby feel incapable in anyway.

Over all, it's a hit song.  I really liked it. 
And in case you people are seriously toying with coming up with a girl version, then don't bother sillies!
We are sorted out enough. For us , it's as easy as a game of cards.
All we ever want is Diamonds, Heart, Spade and Clubs forever and in that order !
I rest my case. 


Late night reading.. Bangalore weather... 

steaming cup of cocoa....... Life is Beautiful .


                                               Its a beautiful book about That magical paradise which is really settled somewhere at the end of the world- BHUTAN .Its beautifully written ,at places almost with a lyrical quality to it...with lucid descriptions of the old and now fading traditions of this mystical kingdom and how the author found not only peace and beauty but also falls in Love .....Forever.


Another Thought : A Pleasant One

 It feels good.
One minute back I was lamenting on my lack of inspiration when suddenly it dawned on me that I can write about books, an interest which I had developed quite early in my childhood and in which I am sure of getting emotional pleasure and intellectual satisfaction.
 And I'll get to read a new book, talk about books will be the icing on the cake!

I don't know if blogs are meant to talk about books or reading considering most of the people, No, ALL of the Indians barring few, don't want to do anything with books and find reading an alien concept.

But, I'll blog about books.My first love. My guiding lights.

 In Indian popular media, newspapers, television serials, soap-operas, movies, reality shows.... books are nowhere to be seen or heard as if they don't exist in the Indian system. The ideal bahus/betas, heroines/heroes in each and every TV serial or movie  are charming, hard-working, with a golden heart but they NEVER read. Nor anyone tell them to read for the illumination of mind.They tell them to be many things but never advice them to read. Sigh ! 
I wonder at that life without any idea of such a wonderful world waiting to be explored and them, never knowing about it.
What I expect from blogging is peace of mind, expansion of knowledge and contentment which I will definitely find in writing about the books I have read, books which have shaped my life in one way or other and are close to my heart.

Today I'll sleep peacefully or not at all knowing I have such a nice job to pursue. I'll start with Chuck and Geck. 
Sweet dreams.
Happy reading and blogging :) 

Not A-Musing

  Sometimes it feels that when we are on the peak of our abilities and talents we are too lazy to put our thoughts into words, and words on paper.And later when we want to, we simply  run out of them! The thoughts, the ideas, time,feelings  and ...words!
They say, 'paper is more patient then man' and I took full use of its patience, filled reams of it ! 
Now, it's feeling tough, like a writer's block, that too, when I am Not a writer !This is what happens you don't get the virtues of a profession but only vices.
Hoping for some lucky flash of  insight ... Ciao :)

ग़ुलाब- The Rose

                 ग़ुलाब एक...                                    डॉयरी के पन्नों में,                                     कोयल ने फिर कुह...