Snow-Falling-Effect

Thursday, April 02, 2015

धूप : Sunshine

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ललछौंहे बच्चों के चेहरों पे
लाल अबीर बिखराती  धूप

तपे  हुए ताम्बई गालों  पे
स्वर्णिम आभा लाती धूप

सलोने सांवले चेहरे पे
सोना सा  बिखराती  धूप

काले घुँघराले बालों में
उलझ उलझ फंस जाती धूप

मुखर गुलाबी अधरों पर 
मोती सी घुल जाती  धूप

रेशम रेशम हाथों पर 
मेहंदी  सी रच  जाती धूप

गहरी काली आँखों को 
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रत्नो सा दमकाती धूप 

खन खन कंगन के नग में
सूरज से,  झलकाती धूप

गालों पे ढुलके आंसू में 
इन्द्रधनुष लिख  जाती धूप



ललछौंहे = reddish tinge                                                       ताम्बई  = copper-ish
अबीर = colour                                                                     स्वर्णिम आभा = golden lustre
घुँघराले  - curly                                                                    उलझ  = trapped
मुखर - lively , here as if about to say something                अधरों - lips
रत्नो  - gems                                                                        नग = precious stone                                     झलकाती = reflects                                                              इन्द्रधनुष = rainbow
 ढुलके आंसू  -  dripping tears                                

57 comments:

  1. Hi Kokila, Your poem is lyrical and sweet. The forth couplet is charmingly figurative.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks uppal ji .. a lot. wishing to keep you charmed forever :)

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  2. Its amazingly beautiful babe...I am speechless the words....wow, loved it to bits :)

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    1. Hey girl .. ab to thanks bolna bhi formality lagta hai ;) Just glad you liked it dearie :)

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  3. Loved reciting it. Fabulous! It brings me back into my childhood when I studied in Std II. Then we used to learn poems/rhymes by singing and at the end we used to clap :)

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    1. I am glad you enjoyed it and hope you clapped here too :p
      But being a TEACHER and a MOTHER both I can assure you that for class II kids the imagery ought to be with nature and not with bodily adjectives like ' PINK LIPS ' , 'Deep BLACK EYES' , 'SILKEN HANDS '.... and so on For class II it would be on the lines of -

      पलाश कनेर कचनार लदे पेड़ों पे
      नारंगी आग लगाती धूप

      जमी नदी के फर्श पे
      सितारों सी जगमगाती धूप.... :)

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    2. OK not Pink Lips but ROSY LIPS, not Deep Black Eyes but EYES SO BLUE, not Silken Hands but CURLY HAIR

      Chubby Cheeks, dimpled chin,
      Rosy lips, teeths within,
      Curly hair, very fair,
      Eyes so blue, lovely too,
      Teacher's pet, Is that you?
      "Yes, Yes, Yes."
      :P

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    3. Lol ... :D :D
      thats Not class II :p :p

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    4. Yes. In fact, classes lower than II :p :p

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    5. Sure. they don't need explanation.... my daughter goes in class II and if I'll read her this dhoop, I have to answer /explain it to her in context of a baby ... which is not what I originally intended.
      And the point is you know that :)

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    6. Well, the thing is you too knew that I wasn't talking about its meaning but its lyrical nature & easy rhyme scheme. As far as meaning is concerned, I hardly knew any at that time. I used to be happy because I was able to sing & remember them easily for exams :)

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    7. No I did not get what you meant. Actually Ravish , the thing is your level is too high perhaps and from your own Ivory tower of Over Analysis you found all other things small
      Whatever is written is simple for you ..and for me - Being Simple Is The Toughest Thing !
      कितना कठिन है
      सरल होना ....

      Over analysis is a dream killer ..It leads to Paralysis.
      specially in a poem .. And OVER ANALYSIS does not transforms consciousness.
      Who is to decide who should read this verse which is written on an impulse as an emotional reverie ...
      Sahitya/ Literature is not all about tongue twister words and quoting big names it flows in simple spontaneous brooks too!

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  4. Nice... :)
    Please do visit my post and comment:

    https://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=452573

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  5. Very beautiful poem Kokila... Have you read the one by Dushyant Tyagi - "Yahan darakhton ke saaye mein dhoop lagti hai .."

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    Replies
    1. WoW .. the line is beautiful ... Thanks for it Puru :)
      And of-course Thanks a TON for appreciating my humble impulsive expressions...

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  6. It's lyrical and beautiful! The choice of words is mesmerizing.....Loved it dear... :-)

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    1. Hey Girl Thanks Thanks Thanks !
      Lots of love for being here and wishes to you for everything you do :)

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  7. This soo nice :) Lovely poem

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    1. Thanks Meoww ... Aaah ! Love @ Seoul :)

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  8. बहुत खूबसूरत पंक्तियाँ लिखी हैं आपने कोकिला जी !

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    Replies
    1. Dhanyawad Yogi... aapka protsahan bahut sahyog deta hai hindi me likhne mein ..:)

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  9. Lovely little images strung together. And beautiful ending, Kokila.

    And thank you for the key; or else it would have gone over my head. There were several words I'm not familiar with. :)

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    1. Glad you liked it Dee :) and that the key was useful ... hope you enjoyed it dear :)

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  10. Wow :) so many aspects of sunshine. Love the last lines.

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    1. Thanks a lot Kiran.. I too like the last lines and put them in last to end it on a meaningful note... as shoop can bring a rainbow in a teardrop too :)
      Glad you like it dear :)

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  11. I feel like writing in hindi again after reading this.. You are a talented poetess, Kokila, you must be knowing that :)

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    1. Thanks Roohi.. your words... rooh-e-sukoon :)
      I know only that you are generous and compassionate :))
      love and wishes dear :)

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  12. अनेक रंगों, मोहक भावों और लयात्मक संगीत का अनूठा सम्मिश्रण है आपकी कविता, कोकिला!
    'बेहद खूबसूरत' कहना इसकी ख़ूबसूरती को कमतर आँकना होगा!

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    1. Coming from a sensitive poet like you the words mean a Lot !
      So many Thanks Amit .. :)

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  13. You have described the sunshine so well, beautiful poem Kokila :)

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  14. Replies
    1. Thanks a lot Ankur.. glad you found it lyrical :)

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  15. Well, I wish I could have the English translation.

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    1. Yeah Celestine .. I agree but certain words lose their soul in translation so I avoided it .. will try a one next time for sure :) Thanks for the love :)

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  16. Fantastic, Kokila! I just love it! I still want to read it again and again! You are awesome dear!

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    1. Thanks again Sindhu :) Hope the key helped dear :)

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  17. Loved it! Mazaa aa jaya padh kar. :)

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    Replies
    1. He he ... Thanks Saru... happy you enjoyed it :)

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  18. Awesome! Just awesome! I'm speechless!

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  19. "a writer's write up"... fantastic poem...

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Your views and thoughts make this blog work ...Thanks a lot. :)

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